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 Quotes and Poems from Birthmothers A birth Mother's Love I knew it was happening.. before I had proof it was happening I knew I couldn't do it before anyone told me I couldn't do it Not because I didn't want to but Because I was so young Not because I didn't love you. Simply, because I was not ready I knew you would suffer in some way.. I knew i loved you from day one I didn't know how to tell anyone or what to do I knew I would face turmoil much more than that of which was already felt inside I knew they wouldn't understand I just knew I loved you and wanted you to someday understand The truth came out and just as I knew they wouldn't, they didn't understand I wanted adoption because I loved you. I have never felt so alone.... I knew i wasn't I did the best for you each and every day Then came the day that I knew.. I knew you were a beautiful girl I knew before anyone else knew Then that day came that I felt you moving... I knew this would surely be the hardest thing I'd ever do I knew adoption would cause me Heartache I just knew That day came I knew it was going to be your Birthday.. I knew I was strong enough I just knew OMG.. Is this really Happening.. I knew your Daddy needed to be there I saw your beautiful face I knew I needed more strength.. I never knew I'd feel this kind of love I really never knew I needed to make so many critical decisions... I knew I had to do it The love in my heart gave me the strength i needed I cried... O how I cried.. Is this the right choice? How do I go on without her?? Who will love her like I do?? Can I keep her? Can this work? Can I do it? I knew I couldn't I knew they would love you. I knew you'd be ok. I knew I had to say Goodbye I held you tight and kissed your tiny face I held your tiny hand in mine I told you I loved you and some day we would meet again I love my Child, My precious Baby gir,l My heart, MY ASHLEY!!! I loved you from day one. I will love you for a lifetime. I felt so empty for so long I knew only one other person could feel that emptiness I knew your Daddy felt it too I knew i couldn't possibly make it through this I'd surely give up I knew one day we'd meet again and I knew for you I had to go on. I love you with all the love in my heart. I hope you Know this... I Look forward to the day we meet again My CHild MYASHLEY!!!! "A Birthmother puts the needs of her child above the wants of her heart" Skye Hardwick founder of "Life Mothers" Adoption isn't a birthmother's rejection but an unconditional love that inspires her to put herself last and do all she can for her baby (I found this written in a letter to my son and I cannot remember if it is something I wrote or a quote i found online.) I knew I loved my daughter from the first moment I found out she was growing inside me. Although I knew I was to naive, young and poor to raise her myself there was never a question she would be brought into this world.I loved her father even though we would never see each other again, therefore, the only sensible choice was open adoption. I loved my child to much to hand her over to people that I had never met. My feeling was and always will be that if I was to scared to look these people in the face, to know and love and bond with them, then how in the world could I in good conscious hand my baby over to them never to see her again? I know without a second of guilt or remorse that I made the right choice in open adoption. How can there be a negative side? Now my child not only has one set of family members who love her, but 2,3,4... How can it be bad to have more people love you rather than less? Now, when each of us wakes up each day to face a new part of our lives, there are no haunting, unanswered questions to get in the way of our feeling secure in who we are so that we may face the rest of our challenges with that knowledge on our side. Now, I feel like I have a second family too, not just my daughter. - Jennifer Bouchard Doane, Birthmother and Lifemother. My baby was my gift to the world to show everyone strength in innocence and purity, and one day I pray my baby will come home to me to tell me of his journey that I can take with him. By: Sarah Sowell Gave birth to her son April 21st 2004 Open Adoption It was so important to me, my selection of the family that I had chosen for my baby, that if for any reason they would not have been able to adopt her, I would have kept her. The couple I chose was the perfect fit, anyone else would have been second choice, and I wanted more for my daughter than second best Birthmother who placed through Open Adoption "I wouldn't give a puppy to someone I didn't know. I had to give my baby to people I had never met." Anonymous If you love some one unconditionally and with your whole heart, than you will do what is best for them not you. I have never learned a harder lesson than giving my child up for adoption and I probably never will. Talitha Birthmother twice over back to top |
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Quotes and Poems from Adoptee's Adopted Adolescents Adopted adolescents are people of pain We feel the pain of loss, feeling unwanted, We feel the pain that never goes away Adopted adolescents We feel the hurt, the confusion Of living a double life who will we grow to be Adopted adolescents We only dream for the day to come When will we go home We long for the day for a birth mother to find us We wait and hope and pray today will be the day -An adopted 15 year old girl People ask me. "What about gay adoptions? Interracial? Single Parent?" I say. "Hey fine, as long as it works for the child and the family is responsible." My big stand is this: Every child deserves a home and love. Period. Dave Thomas. Founder of Wendy's adopted child Its better to have a loving family than to have no family at all. Rachel "I don't have a bank account, because I don't know my mothers maiden name." - Paula Poundstone There is no doubt in my mind that being adopted affects parenting in a profound way. But how it manifests itself is as idiosyncratic as each parent, as unique as each child....We can only do our best to follow our hearts, to watch both ourselves and our children with a compassionate eye, and to find out our own place on the ever-lilting balance beam of parenthood. Susan Ito adopted child One day while I was hanging out with one of my friends the topic of our parents came up. My friend always knew that I was adopted through open adoption but we had never discussed it. I guess on this particular day he was feeling rather brave and launched into a slew of question, like do I see my birthmom, and, how often. You could tell that he was relieved that I felt so comfortable talking with him about it. Then he asked me, between my adoptive parents and my birthpartents which did I feel were my "REAL" parents. I was sort of surprised by what seemed should be the obvious answer. I told him, hey, they're both my "REAL" parents. Young Man adopted through Open Adoption I had not realized how adversely closed adoption, and the absence of my biological history had affected me until I gave birth to my son Gabriel. When I held him in my arms, for the first time in my life I felt connected to the earth Adoptee and adoptive parent Cori back to top Poems from Adoptee's Just Thought You'd Like to Know… by Susan D. Walters-Yeasley Adult Adoptee Just thought you'd like to know: I had a happy, uneventful childhood. My parents loved me and still do. My brothers and I got along fine, most of the time. I grew up in a 'normal' home, happy and well adjusted. Just thought you'd like to know. Just thought you'd like to know: I graduated from High School a year early. I worked for a year, got married too young and went to college. I had three fantastic children, got divorced after 17 years of marriage. I have no regrets. Just thought you'd like to know. Just thought you'd like to know: Your grandson is tall and handsome, very responsible, very smart, A great percussionist, he graduates next year. Your oldest granddaughter is the spitting image of me physically and characteristically. She is beautiful, smart and very caring. Your youngest granddaughter is a 'pistol', and the smartest 1st grader I know. Just thought you'd like to know. Just thought you'd like to know: I am a music teacher--I've played the piano and sung all my life. I know you played guitar and sang. I know you loved the out-of-doors; I would rather be outside than inside Anytime. I know you liked animals; I have a house full of dogs and cats and other miscellaneous creatures. Just thought you'd like to know. Just thought you'd like to know: I live a rich, full life. I have a great career, a mortgage, kids and animals and lots of hobbies. I am happy and well adjusted. I love to laugh loud and long. I will be 38 this summer--but you know that. Hardly a day goes by that I don't wonder, Do I look like you? Do I act like you? Are you even alive? Do I have brothers and sisters? Just thought you'd like to know: I have never bonded with anyone other than my children. They are my only link. My only biological kin. They are all I have in this world that I will never be able to lose. Just thought you'd like to know. Just thought you'd like to know: I love you. Though I may never see you or talk to you, No matter who or what you are, I love you. Just thought you'd like to know. The Question by Gabe Myers, Teen adoptee I’ve grown so much but you weren’t here To hold me console me or fight my fear I wanted to know what was wrong with me Where should I have grown up, where should I be There has never been a day gone by I don’t ask myself the question why The constant filling of my heart with doubt It was a secret to never be let out Who exactly was my mother? Then it dawned on me it could be no other, Than the one who had loved all my life The one who will be there through all my strife The one who held me when I was scared The one who I could always count on and always cared It didn’t matter that I never came from your tummy The point is you’re the one I will always call Mommy back to top |
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Quotes from Adoptive Parents Today, my long-time partner's daughter had a baby. The waiting room was full of family members there to support her. One by one, they all filed through after waiting for hours, to hold the baby, wish them well and support them. It made me think: My birthmother had NO support at all. She was 18 years old, in an unfamiliar town with no friends or family there to support her. NO husband or baby's father; no parents...they had sent her away to have me; no friends; Just a cold room with unfamiliar faces, going through what could be one of the most joyous moments of her life. But instead, it must have been so miserable to be so alone, giving birth to what it was that alienated her from her family and friends. I suppose, in the same situation, maybe it wouldn't be that difficult to never touch, hold or love what had taken her from her loved ones. Susan D. Walters "For me, adoption is not second best because I know that sometimes God doesn't give us what we want immediately because He has something so much greater in store, even if we can't yet see it." Kelly Swindell Waiting Adoptive Parent Five Reasons Why We Chose Open Adoption * When she looks in the mirror, we want our daughter to know herself. It's hard to face the world when you don't know where your face came from. * We didn't want our daughter to have the cabbage patch mentality. The truth is, her life didn't start the day we adopted her. Like us, her history and ours began a thousand lifetimes ago. * We believe in a birthmother's right to choose, if she has the courage to place, she has the wisdom and right to choose her childs parents. Our daughters birthmother is her first Mother. * We wanted to do a domestic open adoption so our daughter could know her birthfamily. Our daughters birthmother chose not to abort her, how could we abort our daughters relationship with her birthfamily. * We both have family members and friends who are products of closed adoption. These people are still suffering the adverse effects that their denied birthright has caused them. We didn't want this for our daughter. Debbie Weeks - adoptive parent founder of adoptionopen.com A baby is a miraculous gift from God, no matter how one receives it. Some are given the ability bear them, others the ability to rear them. My name is Wendy. My husband and I are in the beginning stages of adopting a baby.
Time and experience have taught me a priceless lesson: Any child you take for your own becomes your own if you give of yourself to that child. I have born two children and had seven others by adoption, and they are all my children, equally beloved and precious. Dale Evans adoptive parent
He who can reach a child's heart can reach the worlds heart.
However motherhood comes to you, it's a miracle.
Needing to connect to ones biology is so instinctive, that people when meeting your adoptive child will tell you, "Oh look! She has your smile" or "look, he has your beautiful hair," knowing full well that there is no biological connection, but sensing the importance that your child needs to know that they look like someone.
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Quotes from Adoption Professionals “When you honor the birth family, you honor the child. When you don't honor the birth family, the child will believe that something is inherently wrong with him/her.” Sherrie Eldridge President, Jewel Among Jewels Adoption Network Author of Twenty Things Adopted Kids Wish Their Adoptive Parents Knew and Twenty Life-Transforming Choices Adoptees Need to Make. Sherrie Eldridge|JAJANI Author|Speaker Being a mother is a noble status, right? So why does it change when you put ‘unwed' or ‘welfare' in front of it? --Gloria Steinem, founder, Feminist Party, 1971; quoted in "The Verbal Karate of Florynce R. Kennedy," MS Magazine "We should not be asking who this child belongs to, but who belongs to this child." - Jim Gritter "For people who are frightened of changes in the adoption law, there is
Closed adoption is institutionalized denial.
"Man's Search for Himself," WW Norton & Co, ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Our governments play games with adults. I believe it is better to tell the truth than a lie. It is better to know nothing,
Know Thyself.
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| Can We Quote You? Please send us your own personal proverbs, wisdoms or quotes on adoption so that we can share them with our viewers. You can E mail your message to, info@adoptionopen.com |
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